Update - The War has begun...

Boy, it has been a while since I have found the time to post on here. Well, I am still sick. I am unsure of whether the spell that my friends and I did had any effect, but one of my doctors beleives that he knows what is wrong with me, so maybe it did. For me, knowing what is wrong is a big releif, but because I am not getting better after doing what my doctor has said to do, I am concerned that he is wrong.

I have been trying to figure out what it is on my own as well, I have done several rune casts to try to get some new ideas. A month or two ago I did a rune cast that at the time I struggled with the meaning. It was clear in the way that the runes fell that my fate was forked, meaning it was up to me which way it ended up.

One path was a bit jumbled, and seemed to lead to death/rebirth through difficult trials, and the other pointed to an Odin rune with the valkyrie rune ( /| ) as the rune that pointed. At the time, I could see which was the best path, the Odin path, but I wasn't sure what that entailed exactly. It was the rune for wisdom and knowledge through Odin, so I was thinking at the time that it meant to seek knowledge, or possibly to become more odinistic. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. Sometimes, it's a good idea to ponder something, waiting until you feel like you have determined the true meaning, even if you think you are close, lest you do something that then tips your fate the undesirable direction.

Well, the other day I was packing my notebook to take with me on a trip, and happened to look at the drawing I made of the rune cast, and being the type of person who can't let go of something until I understand it, thought it over once again. A few hours later, I had a realization of the meaning of the "path of Odin". Well, I have learned a good amount about the different aspects of the Norse gods, including Odin, so I know that Odin is a warrior god, who values brave warriors and through his valkyries he rescues thier spirits when they have fallen in battle to bring them to Valhalla. Thinking about that, I realized that I must wage war on this illness.

I had planned to build my strength up once I was feeling better, and then banish future sickness by remaining extremely physically fit. I guess it hadn't occured to me that I was somewhat putting the cart before the horse in the matter. I have realized that the way to feel better is to banish this sickness now by becoming stronger than it and forcing it to.

When I think about becoming a warrior for my health, I realized that it's really more that to do this I should become strictly disciplined in both body and mind, devoting myself to my purpose. It goes beyond eating right and getting sleep and exercise, to include becoming strong mentally as well. Expanding my knowledge, meditation, training myself with good habits, all of these things will be needed. I have been somewhat indulgent of myself the last few years, feeling like I need to reward myself in order to feel good, when really it is my own lack of action that keeps me from feeling good, not the lack of perceived rewards. Wouldn't good health truly be a reward? This is what I have realized, that to be happy and healthy, I must give up the empty rewards that only satisfy me in the short-term, and instead focus on the work that needs to be done, knowing that the reward I need is bigger and more important than any other.

So, the runes have provided, once I was ready to see the meaning of it, a solution to my problem. I am going to need to figure out a plan for all this, so that it doesn't get simply forgotten about once I have begun to recover. This is something that there is no going back to "normal" on after it's over. Once you commit to be a warrior in the eyes of Odin, you are commited for life. This will be a life change for me, bringing me to my true self, a warrior. I know that this is something that is vitally important for me to understand, that I am not just using this as a tool to get what I want, but instead I am pushing myself to reach my highest potential for good in the world too. It's all interconnected, and without good health, it is clear that everything else I want to accomplish cannot be done.

I have dreams about being a warrior for the forces of good in the world all the time. In fact, deep down I have been searching my soul to figure out what I want my purpose to be, and all along it was there waiting for me to realize. I have the determination, and really just plain stubbornness that is needed to never, ever, ever give up on something important. I also have strength to endure pain, both emotional and physical. This time of my life is certainly a test of my strength. In other words, I am well suited to a life spent fighting for the things that really matter. The true question, I suppose, is what it is I should fight for specifically. That too, I may consult the runes to find out. At this point though, the war that needs fighting is very clear to me, as I know that my choices are to fight, or to die. Literally.

Bonfire Spell ~ Results

Well, it's been a couple of weeks almost since we did the spell, and I still hadn't posted anything in my blog about how it went! So, here goes. Well, the night before I was really worried that it would snowing or raining too much to be able to even get up to our property for the spell, so I was just sort of hoping for the best.

But, it turned out that it was a beautiful day, with bright sunlight in the morning when I got up. I was so excited! We all met at my place and then we drove up there. The drive went well, and then we walked from the car about a half mile to the cabin. It was really a beautiful day, so after all that walking none of us were cold. We started right away by getting some wood from a big pile we have and my fiance chopped it up for us. We also scavenged some sticks and whatnot from a brush pile.

There was a huge pile of wood ready for the bonfire, so I made a little pile of paper and some smaller sticks with some bigger peices around it to shelter it, and then I let my fiance try to light it with his flint strker for a bit, since he really wanted to try it out, and I was curious to see how it would work, too. Turns out those things are much harder to use than we realized, so I ended up just using a lighter to light the fire after all.

Then, while the fire was building up, I took the girls back to the spring where we get the water for the cabin. It is so awesome back there, the trees are so tall that you can't even see the tops of them, and it's so quiet and peaceful. I just love it up there. We each picked out a rock that we liked for part of one of the other girls' spells. We then headed back to the fire spot in the middle of the meadow.

The fire was roaring at that point, so it was time to get started. I wasn't sure exactly how we were going to do the circle, since we each have different things that we do, so we talked over that and went over what each one of us had prepared for the spell. I had made papers with the words to my spell on them which I also painted things on with watercolors for fun.

The other two girls are water and earth oriented, so one made a spell to use afterwards to cleanse away any remaing bad things, and the other had a healing rock visualization type thing that she had planned, which is what we would use the river rocks for that we had picked out.
One thing that I hadn't really done before with the circle that I thought was interesting was the triangle made of rocks which pointed north that one of the girls made. It was neat because it makes it a little easier to orient yourself to the directions when you already have a marker for north. I think I will use that myself in the future, because it really came in handy!

It was really neat while we were in the circle together, it was like each of us was responding to things the other person was thinking without the need for much explanation. We seemed to be able to create some pretty strong magic, I think. Each of us have a different specialty so when we band together like that we have a broad range of skills/power to draw upon. It was a great experience for me.

After the inital circle casting and gathering a couple of forgotten items that were outside the circle, we then started my portion of the spell. It went really well, I liked how it all went together. Then, we did some visualization with the rocks where each of us held a rock to the part of my abdomen that has been hurting and visualized the rock taking away the bad thing that is causing all my troubles. A weird thing happened while we were doing that, I get thig buring feeling on my stomach, like really strong buring sensation. Later, upon reflection, I figured it may have been the heat from the fire, as my bare skin was facing it and that fire was super hot!

Once we had completed that part of the spell, well, I had to stop it because my belly was burning too much, but then we had a little drink of some of our homemade apple cider and then we did the cleansing spell. I really liked both of the things that my witch friends had prepared for this, it was so awesome to get to do some magic with other people! It's fun to do spells on your own too, but I really liked the group thing.

So the jury is still out on whether it worked, I am currently on antibiotics so if that doesn't work then I will have to get more tests. I hope the spell worked because I could definitely use some help with this health problem I'm having. Yesterday was a really yucky pain and nausea day, I felt bad all day long, and today is slightly better, but I just feel like my body is all out of balance. I think it takes time for a spell like this to take effect, and certainly they never really do what you expect anyways, but once I know more I will be sure to post about it!

Bonfire Spell ~ Words We'll Say

Well, lately I have been really busy and also of course still struggling with health issues so I haven't written the spell out yet for Saturday! I am going to make a rough draft of it here, and probably go back in and edit it a few times until I feel it's just right.

I realized that I also need to write the beginning, just after the circle is closed, because it is when we will begin the first spell we have done together with the three of us. I decided that this is a big deal and wanted to just go with something basic and proven for this. What better way to do it than to use some of the rede! Indeed.

*Note* This is re-worded by me because I don't like saying "thee" and "thy", I feel like I'm roleplaying and then I am thinking about things other than what I should be, which is the purpose of the words.

Here it is:

Bide the wiccan laws we must,
in perfect love and perfect trust.
In these eight words, the wiccan rede fulfill,
and it harm none, do what you will.

Fire light, burn bright,
unleash destruction for this blight,
burn what should have perished,
but save what should be cherished,
feel the intention in our will,
burn for victory from this ill!

Ivy with relentless conviction,
wind your tendrils round this affliction,
cling to it with all your power,
so it too may be devoured.

Fiery agate, transform bad to good,
Cool amethyst, banish fear and doubt,
Strong bloodstone, close the wounds,
Clear crystal, cleanse the body,
Bright diamond, rebuild the defenses,
Truthful hermatite, to learn the new way.

Western Winds, come to us,
come to heal in time of need,
come in haste, we three do plead,
clear the path, bring well-being near.

Flesh and bone be sound as stone, 
Spirit, heal, with kiss to seal,
tis well, so mote it be!

Our work is done, let the gift go forth,
like the dancing wild, like the blessing sun,
like the healing rain, like the fruitful earth,
with the blessing power of the ancient gods,
bring good to this work, and harm none.

(close circle, get food ready that wasn't warming at fire, get out cider!)

Blessed be this food,
blessed be the land that nurtured it,
and the sun that gave it power,
and blessed be all hands,
that have brought this food to us.

Then just some grounding/hanging out before we have to go home again. It's going to be pretty cold and I fear it might rain or snow. But, we will give it our best shot and see what happens! There are places we could stop that may have fire possibilities. In the meantime, I am going to hope for an hour or two of sunshine on Saturday afternoon!

Phew, that was a lot. I don't need all of it really, but you know, depending on my mood, I may or may not do it all. But, I do feel good about the plan now. That is really why I like to write it out. Then I am very clear on the purpose for all the parts of the spell so that I can visualize it much more effectively. Mmm now to find a good recipe!

Bonfire Spell

Well, lately I have been having some health problems that my doctor has been unable to diagnose, and which are worsening gradually. My friend had the awesome idea to do a spell to help me get better! She checked to see if that was the right thing to do with her Tarot cards, as that is what she prefers for divination. So, once it was determined that we should, it was time to get started planning it. She and our other witch friend will be helping me with it, and each of us is going to prepare something that is in our area of expertise for it. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends who would want to do something like this for me!

Ok, so for my part I decided the time, place, and type of spell. For the time, it is going to be at mid-day because that is my strongest magical time, it's going to be up at my family's land in the forest, and it's a fire spell, as I'm sure you gathered from the title. Being that it is spring and the fire danger is low, I thought a bonfire would be a really awesome thing to do, because it would work well for the spell and I love them. Additionally, I am going to write out the words for the spell that we will say. As with my last custom made spell, I am going to make a plan first because that helps me to write it. Spell planning can also make my spells more successful because I can keep my thoughts more focused, which of course makes for strong magic.

Ok, first of all, we would need to actually make the fire. I am not going to worry too much about what wood is used for the fire, but I have a really good spot picked out for it. It's in the middle of a meadow where the sound echoes off the hillsides around it. So, the rest of the details of the fire are not too important, in my opinion.

For the materials, we intend to use ivy in the spell, so we will gather some that is growing out there already. It was planted by my grandmother, and while I don't know if that will help, it certainly can't hurt anything. Additionally, we will have some gemstones but I don't know which just yet. I feel like there is something I'm forgetting here, so I might come back and edit this post later to add more.

Ok, on to the meat of the matter, writing a spell!

Ok, first we need to cast the circle, but that I am going to wing it on, as there's three of us and we each probably have some variations.Then we really should make some type of pact to help with using our powers together, like a promise to do no harm to one another and work together towards the same goal.

Next, I'd like to have a short laundry list type section where we say the things which we are going to use, and thier intended purpose. In turn, we can then do whatever action is appropriate for the item in question:

• Fire - feel the heat with hands
• Ivy - put in the fire
• Gems - Charge them with energy, place them (tentative, I don't know what we are doing with them)

So, for the fire, I just assume that will be my contribution. For the ivy and gems the other two ladies will do them. So it will be a three part section, each part spoken by one of us. With the words for the ivy and the gems, I will simply discuss it with the other two on the way there and come up with the words then. For mine, I will write it ahead so that I will have something to base the other part on.

Something that we talked about during the planning of this spell was the fact that each of us have an element that we are strongest in, or identify with more. It's part of who we are. So, I am fire, and we also have water and earth. So, to complete the picture, we need wind, right? Well, I happen to know that there is a good amount of wind in the spot where I will have the fire, so another thing that will be done is that we will call to the wind to help complete the spell.

Finally, I think it will be good to have a unifying stanza which will then direct our focus to the main purpose for all of it, a coming together of the energies at hand. This will be the culmination of the spell, and after, we can then begin to close out the magic. The energy will be sent to it's purpose or back to earth depending on the type, and then we will bust out the food and drink for a celebration of the completion of our first spell together as a group! Yay!

My next post will either be the menu for the after spell feast, with recipes, or the wording to the spell, depending on which I am more inspired about first!

Spirit Contact - Results

Well, Saturday night I set everything up for my spell, and I decided to use a couple of candles as part of the spell as well. I chose magenta and pink for thier uses in divination, contacting spirits and also love and protection.

Once I had cast the circle, I could sense the spirit (I could almost see it! It was like a cloudiness in a certain spot in the living room, like they were there just waiting for me). Once I began the spell a feeling of releif and happiness filled me, presumably from the spirit. It really made me feel good about what I was doing. I was a little scared/nervous before I cast the circle, but once it was cast, all of my nervousness and fear was gone.

I used the spells that I chose, and after I addressed the spirit, the candles flickered at me as if in answer. I know that seems silly because candles flicker all the time, but it kept happening at moments like that!

Then I cast the three norns and got the rune for contemplation and uncertainty for the past, for the present I got the run for guidance/advice, and then on the last rune, representing the future, I got the rune for harmony, a connection between all things, love, protection, wisdom of the gods. This was very cool. When I was reading the meaning of the last rune a I got a very strong feeling of happiness and excitement. I almost wanted to cry at how well it was going, I really felt like I was helping!

Then, to be sure, and to find out further what help I might give, I did a second run cast where I just grab some runes from the bag and toss them on the table randomly. There were three face-up runes on the table. Two were grouped together, one was the "tribe" rune, or a rune of togetherness with your community/similar people. The other rune was a fire rune, which I assumed meant me, or at least my magical ability, as it always manifests itself as fire (in my dreams and visualizations). These two runes were actually stacked on top of each other a bit when they landed on the table, along with an ice rune which was face down. I didn't need to see the ice rune to see that those two runes should be read together and considered "bound" of course, so I didn't worry too much about that. The one alone didn't seem to have much relevance except as a marker for the other two, as it was positioned slightly lower and to the left of the other two. I actually forgot what rune it was, I knew I should have written them down! But suffice it to say that I was able to figure out what the spirit needed.
After the cast, I decided that it looks like the spirit mostly just needed my guidance and assurance that they would be going to a good place in the afterlife. I felt like the spirit had been scared to cross over, and that is the reason they were hanging out at my house. I guess they must have known that I could do magic, and so they were hoping I would figure out a way to help them.

I then used the rest of my spell that I had written out ahead of time, and closed the circle. After, it was interesting to me that I started to miss the feeling of there being a spirit there. My fiance also noticed this and told me he thought it felt empty now.

Since that night, and especially on Sunday night, I have been paying clsoe attention to see if I have noticed any return of the spirit, or possibly a new spirit. So far it looks like there aren't any, so I am very happy with how the whole thing went. Next time, if there is one, I will be sure and make contact sooner so that I can help them. I have a feeling that this is not the last time that I will be able to use my magic for the good of a spirit, and so I am going to keep my senses alert!

One thing that this experience has helped me with is trusting my feelings and instincts, and beleiveing myself when I sense something amiss. It's hard not to just dismiss creepy feelings as nothing, and this is a positive example of why it's a good idea to pay attention to that sort of thing. Just think how long it might have been before that spirit found peace otherwise!

The Spells For the Spirit

Well, this afternoon I was feeling in the mood for some spell writing, and considering I am planning to contact the spirit tomorrow night, it makes sense to go ahead and write the spells out that I am going to use. For the preparation, I will of course cast a circle and call to the four directions as I normally do in preparation for any spell.

After the initial preparation, I will use this spell/spells for the beginning part of my plan:

Ring of fire, 'round me now,
keep me safe, don't let me down,
see you here and know no ill,
until my purpose, I fulfill.

Spirit near but so far,
come to me if you will,
share your story of before,
so I may help you, I implore.

These runes I cast you will know,
use them well until you go.

After that, I will be doing an actual rune cast. I haven't fully made my mind up yet, but I think I will do the three norns first to get an initial idea, and then from there I will go with what makes the most sense as a way to further enlighten myself about the purpose of the contact I have been feeling with a spirit.

After I have communed with the runes and the spirit long enough to have an idea of what to do next, I will make a promise with the spirit to do my best to help them achieve peace:

Spirit of the other-where,
I promise you, I'll make it clear,
I cannot undo the past you lived,
but surely peace can find you here,
your troubles I will take them on,
so you can go to the beyond.

Once that is done, I will remove the connection I made with the runes:

Work done, and with thanks,
my rune-power will, with me remain,
I myself have made it so,
I myself undo it now.

Then I will finish with the closing of the circle and final part to the spell:

Ring of fire round me no more,
let your power leap and soar,
return to earth, your rightful place,
again I'll call, if I may.

Circle of the ancient power,
ground the power of this hour,
spirits here, will soon be gone,
to be at peace in the beyond.

Blessed be to all who hear,
my spell of hope, no need to fear.

Well, that's it for this one. I hope that I can help this spirit, I have the feeling something amazing is going to happen!

Contacting Spirits

For several weeks I have felt like there is a presence in my kitchen/living room. I saw this spirit out of the corner of my eye, well, it's shadow on the wall next to my refrigerator. It has been noticeable so many times, and often after I get the feeling, I go upstairs and I feel like it is following me, and I end up asking it not to as I turn the corner to come up the stairs. At that point the feeling seems to leave, though clearly this spirit keeps returning. It may be because I have been using runes and doing magic in the living room. Maybe this spirit is here because it needs my help with something and because it knows that I beleive in it and am able to do magic, it was somehow attracted to my house because of that.

Of course, when I do my safeguards around the house before bed I don't feel like the spirit, or anything else for that matter, is there. But I don't do that all the time, only when I feel like I need to. I sometimes also imagine a special door in the safeguards for things that are good to come in through, so that it's not just blocking everything. I definitely have noticed that the number of unexplainable occurences in my life has increased since I decided to embrace my natural inclination towards magic. I beleive that anyone has a choice to acknowledge and accept the things that are "unexplainable" in life or deny them and see less of them. It seems like once you accept it, it's like you just opened up the flood gates for all kinds of things!

Anyhow, since I have definitely determined that there is a spirit at my house, and it is not leaving on it's own, I think maybe I should try to contact it. Since I use the runes for divination, they should work equally well for communication with a spirit as long as I make the right preparations and am ready to make contact! I get very afraid though when I feel like it's there. I guess maybe I should do some protection for myself then so that I can feel safe while I do it.

Ok, so here is my plan for the spell(s):

• Protection for me
• Allow the spirit to use my runes to communicate
• Ask the spirit to communicate

After the preparation spell is complete, and once I feel ready, I will then do a rune cast, I think it might help if I use the norns cast for it because the spirit would clearly need help with something from the past in order to be at peace in the future.

Finally, I will do another spell to finish things up:

• Make a promise with the spirit that I will help them as best I can
• Remove the connection from my runes and the spirit
• Close the circle, ground the energy in the house
• Put up safeguards in the house

The reason I am going to be sure to do safeguards is because I think that any time that you make contact with a spirit like that you are possibly opening yourself up to other spirits seeking you out for the same reason and really that's a bit much for me at the moment. I mean, I don't really mind except that I get scared by there being extra presences in my house. My cat is a bit jumpy too, so that's a concern.

I am going to work on the spell writing today and see how it goes. This should be an interesting thing for me to do, and actually if it works out, it might be something that I can do to help and make a different with my magic so that would be awesome! It's funny how when you are searching and searching for purpose it seems so hard and then it just finds you, or was there all along!

Once I have actually tried the spell I will update my blog with the results and also with the actual spells I used. I like writing my own spells because they seem to be easier to really put my energy into, which of course is very important!