As I have written in my blog of late, I have been having health problems. Well, lately these problems have actually improved through a combination of medication and strict adherence to a special diet. Digestion aside, I am having problems with anxiety sometimes. It's something that runs in my family, my mother and grandmother both have anxiety problems, and I think it's extremely likely that I do too.
I don't know why I'm even worried about all kinds of things really, since they are not things that really actually affect me. Other than the worry that I do about them. Luckily, I have an amazing logical mind that can think it's way around that kind of stuff, know it, and then use the knowledge to change from worrying about it to marking it down as a concern, making a mental note of it, you could say. And then letting it go.
When I was reading a fantasy novel, (hehe like normal!) the main character, who discovers she's actually a Pixie changeling, was trying to learn how to create things with magic. The kelpie who instructed her told her that the hard part of magic is not visualizing what you want to happen, but actually allowing your energy that you are investing in the task through the visualization leave your body to go do what you intend.
I think this is true, in a magic sense and as applied to my problem of worrying about things that don't really matter. Now, it's kinda funny how I just wrote "and then letting it go" as if this is such a simple task. Well, much like the above explanation, letting go of emotions is every bit as hard as letting go of magical energy. In fact, as far as I can tell it's pretty much exactly the same. Really, emotions are magical energy. Clearly, I'm not someone who needs reminding of that, given my own magical ability to feel the emotions of others. But none the less, it's still something that I struggle with.
I have lately been having the same strange symptoms I had before, in that I have been having panic attack like symptoms, heart racing, nervous, jittery feeling, dizziness and nausea. I'm pretty sure it's a hereditary thing, as my mom has it, and so did my grandmother. I also suspect my mother is herself an empath. I think it's why she ignores people sometimes, and also why she seems to have emotional freak outs from time to time. And it's like I'm feeling what she is giving off, and it's not good, then she feels it off me, then she gets even worse. I really think that she is unaware of her ability, and that is the actual panic attack. Not from her, but from around her. Maybe it's more like she is a sponge, and she soaks up the energies around her, eventually bubbling over into an attack.
Who knows. Anyways, for myself, there are things I can do to help. I can do my self a favor, and lay off the extra energy spent creating problems with worries. The other thing I can do is to talk myself down from it when I do feel that. The other question though, is what to do when it feels like it's not even coming from me. Being an empath complicates it because I actually get more affected by other people's emotions than my own often times, because I never get as upset about things for myself as the emotions I feel from others. When I do get that upset, of course my emotions are stronger than others, but the vast majority of the time I'm feeling fine. While I was sick, I was feeling my own stuff. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm having problems with this again, lol. Maybe it was just so much of my own before there was no room for more from others!
Well anyways, the point is that I can separate from it if it's coming from outside of me. I feel like it is, because even if the emotion originates from my brain somewhere, it's not actually coming from me. I mean, it shouldn't be tuned to a hair trigger here. That's not how things are supposed to be. So if I'm like a sponge for emotional energy, what I need to do is learn to either use the energy and continue it's flow out of me, or block it from coming in.
Now, that's interesting. Blocking is all well and good, but how do you solve the problem if you've already accumulated it inside you? There needs to be a balance there, and it's natural to think of the movement of energy that way. Okay, so one thing that helps is to expend massive normal energy (aka exercise), so in essence some of the energy you put out is bound to be the excess emotional energy. This is how I envision it works, as this is how exercise for the body versus the mind works, they end up crossing over and becoming a mix of both. Creating something, even not magically, but like painting something or drawing something, or playing music. These things indirectly help expend it. But, again, there is a way more efficient way to do it.
Brain exercise for example, is a direct way to improve something that is not working in our natural mental skill set. Clearly I'm not meant to burn out my nervous system in this way emotionally, so there is something that I should be doing to expend this energy, something I was made to do. Well, here it is more than clear to me that I am meant to use this energy, and by not using it, I end up with an overflow.
Now I must take away from this contemplation the fact that I am not only meant to use my magic, but I in fact need to use it. Using it, just for anything at all, will help me. Using my emotions to create something else directly through their application in a spell, now there is something that may even become a cure to all of my current health problems. One could argue that part or maybe even all of my IBS is caused by emotions making my gut react to every little thing.
So I am equipped to transmit this energy, if it's coming in, it can go out, that's just a fact. So being an empath itself, while maybe makes my need to deal with emotions more immediate, I still think I would still have to figure out how to deal with emotional stress anyway. The combination of my natural predisposition towards anxiety stress responses and my ability to feel the emotions of others just gives me no choice but to find a way to deal with emotional overflow before it literally kills me. And I can see now that really the two things are linked in that I have both the ability and the need for magical release of emotional energy, and I have a ready to use seemingly limitless supply of more emotion that I absorb from others.
Well, now that I understand this, I can at the very least test my theory. I shall begin as soon as I think of a spell that is needed, or that I want to do. Also I suppose I should be figuring out how to release the energy in a spell. This I will have to explore and ponder a bit, and I will report back with what I have figured out.
I don't know why I'm even worried about all kinds of things really, since they are not things that really actually affect me. Other than the worry that I do about them. Luckily, I have an amazing logical mind that can think it's way around that kind of stuff, know it, and then use the knowledge to change from worrying about it to marking it down as a concern, making a mental note of it, you could say. And then letting it go.
When I was reading a fantasy novel, (hehe like normal!) the main character, who discovers she's actually a Pixie changeling, was trying to learn how to create things with magic. The kelpie who instructed her told her that the hard part of magic is not visualizing what you want to happen, but actually allowing your energy that you are investing in the task through the visualization leave your body to go do what you intend.
I think this is true, in a magic sense and as applied to my problem of worrying about things that don't really matter. Now, it's kinda funny how I just wrote "and then letting it go" as if this is such a simple task. Well, much like the above explanation, letting go of emotions is every bit as hard as letting go of magical energy. In fact, as far as I can tell it's pretty much exactly the same. Really, emotions are magical energy. Clearly, I'm not someone who needs reminding of that, given my own magical ability to feel the emotions of others. But none the less, it's still something that I struggle with.
I have lately been having the same strange symptoms I had before, in that I have been having panic attack like symptoms, heart racing, nervous, jittery feeling, dizziness and nausea. I'm pretty sure it's a hereditary thing, as my mom has it, and so did my grandmother. I also suspect my mother is herself an empath. I think it's why she ignores people sometimes, and also why she seems to have emotional freak outs from time to time. And it's like I'm feeling what she is giving off, and it's not good, then she feels it off me, then she gets even worse. I really think that she is unaware of her ability, and that is the actual panic attack. Not from her, but from around her. Maybe it's more like she is a sponge, and she soaks up the energies around her, eventually bubbling over into an attack.
Who knows. Anyways, for myself, there are things I can do to help. I can do my self a favor, and lay off the extra energy spent creating problems with worries. The other thing I can do is to talk myself down from it when I do feel that. The other question though, is what to do when it feels like it's not even coming from me. Being an empath complicates it because I actually get more affected by other people's emotions than my own often times, because I never get as upset about things for myself as the emotions I feel from others. When I do get that upset, of course my emotions are stronger than others, but the vast majority of the time I'm feeling fine. While I was sick, I was feeling my own stuff. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm having problems with this again, lol. Maybe it was just so much of my own before there was no room for more from others!
Well anyways, the point is that I can separate from it if it's coming from outside of me. I feel like it is, because even if the emotion originates from my brain somewhere, it's not actually coming from me. I mean, it shouldn't be tuned to a hair trigger here. That's not how things are supposed to be. So if I'm like a sponge for emotional energy, what I need to do is learn to either use the energy and continue it's flow out of me, or block it from coming in.
Now, that's interesting. Blocking is all well and good, but how do you solve the problem if you've already accumulated it inside you? There needs to be a balance there, and it's natural to think of the movement of energy that way. Okay, so one thing that helps is to expend massive normal energy (aka exercise), so in essence some of the energy you put out is bound to be the excess emotional energy. This is how I envision it works, as this is how exercise for the body versus the mind works, they end up crossing over and becoming a mix of both. Creating something, even not magically, but like painting something or drawing something, or playing music. These things indirectly help expend it. But, again, there is a way more efficient way to do it.
Brain exercise for example, is a direct way to improve something that is not working in our natural mental skill set. Clearly I'm not meant to burn out my nervous system in this way emotionally, so there is something that I should be doing to expend this energy, something I was made to do. Well, here it is more than clear to me that I am meant to use this energy, and by not using it, I end up with an overflow.
Now I must take away from this contemplation the fact that I am not only meant to use my magic, but I in fact need to use it. Using it, just for anything at all, will help me. Using my emotions to create something else directly through their application in a spell, now there is something that may even become a cure to all of my current health problems. One could argue that part or maybe even all of my IBS is caused by emotions making my gut react to every little thing.
So I am equipped to transmit this energy, if it's coming in, it can go out, that's just a fact. So being an empath itself, while maybe makes my need to deal with emotions more immediate, I still think I would still have to figure out how to deal with emotional stress anyway. The combination of my natural predisposition towards anxiety stress responses and my ability to feel the emotions of others just gives me no choice but to find a way to deal with emotional overflow before it literally kills me. And I can see now that really the two things are linked in that I have both the ability and the need for magical release of emotional energy, and I have a ready to use seemingly limitless supply of more emotion that I absorb from others.
Well, now that I understand this, I can at the very least test my theory. I shall begin as soon as I think of a spell that is needed, or that I want to do. Also I suppose I should be figuring out how to release the energy in a spell. This I will have to explore and ponder a bit, and I will report back with what I have figured out.
